Spiraling Toward Irrelevancy

Never has a blog title spoken quicker to the absolute truth than "Spiraling Toward Irrelevancy" ...

1.12.2006

Thursday Update

Everyone welcome Jennifer Bednarek to Team TGO. Late Tuesday night, she accepted my offer to become my (first!) lead researcher. Jennifer is a graduate of Indiana University and a resident of New Orleans; she’s also two of the three brightest women I’ve ever known, so I’m delighted to have her on board.

Details: “lead researcher” will not be one of those empty titles people bestow on others to make them feel good about themselves (e.g., air waitresses became stewardesses; secretaries became administrative assistants, et cetera). Sometime soon – I keep pushing it back; I’m thinking late February or early March – I will get around to announcing the details of my next book. In April, when the formal research process for this mystery book begins, I will be doing my share, but Jennifer will be leading the charge. This will leave me time to research and write the twice-weekly opinion column (both longer processes than you would think).

Jennifer has yet to accept my financial terms – i.e., she won’t take my money – but I’ll talk her into it.

Update on The End of Civilization: Watch CNBC (and you should), you’ll see they have two crawls at the bottom of their screen. The top crawl is for stock prices, the bottom crawl is for news … it must mean something when CNBC reported that Brad Pitt has planted a bastard inside Angelina Jolie, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what that thing is. Let me just say this: I won’t believe it until I see a DNA test. You won’t convince me that baby isn’t actually her brother’s …

Someone call Bill (The Falafel) O’Reilly: A 99-year-old sex offender has been released from jail.


An Egyptian cleric has said that if Arabs are naked during sex, the marriage is null and void. “According to the religious edict is issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil … ‘being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage.’ “

Islam: Catch it!


You Can Still Stun Gun Kids in Florida. Goddamn! If I had an assistant I’d say, Pack my bags! But since I don’t, I say, I’m hitting the showers.