Neighbor Sex / Updates Everywhere / Old ISP Shut Down by FCC

I write this update to the sound of my downstairs neighbor having sex … and either she’s getting it good or she’s one of the world’s greatest actresses. Though I’m tempted to believe she’s not the faking kind, I’ve seen the guy she gets with, and it’s virtually impossible to believe this human weasel can throw down the way it sounds. And she really seems to appreciate it when he finishes, so I suppose that’s good news for everyone – including me, who would prefer to write in silence. (Sorry, downstairs neighbor. Try fucking in your back bedroom instead of on your couch right under my front room computer desk.) Ah, and there it is: The awkward, post-sex chatter. Excellent. But it’s like The White Yoko used to say: If you can’t make it through “Stairway to Heaven,” something’s wrong with you.

Anyway: Tuesday’s column is almost completed, and updates have been made to the Lincoln blog, though I neglected to mention it after posting them late last week. And BrianWise.com has been updated with a link to a story about how Microsoft stinks.

Good news: My former ISP, so prominently mentioned in the last update, was shut down by the FCC not long after that posting. Though I wish I could say it was because of something I did, it wasn’t – turns out the company and its incompetence were standing in the way of a local hospital’s expansion plans, and the hospital dropped the hammer. And what a hammer! When the FCC shuts you down, you know you’ve crossed that thin line between simple incompetence and flat out fucking with the mafia. My thirst for revenge has been quenched.

See you Tuesday.