Tomorrow's Election Results Today / Hussein Sentenced to Hang

A few months ago, I was all for the Republican protest vote, and so I wrote on 10 January: “Three months ago [meaning October 2005] I would have said the Republican party’s problems outside Iraq were manageable and didn’t necessarily mean we had to sacrifice the majority. But now I’m not so sure – not only unsure, but starting to think that a good drubbing in November may be the thing to get federal Republicanism back on track.”

And I have remained quite irritated with my party from that point in January. But not, as it turns out, irritated enough to stay home and allow Democrats unencumbered access to the Ways and Means and Judiciary Committees knowing, as I do, the Democrat’s greater natural proclivity toward socialism in the Soviet model and admiration for judges who believe the Constitution is a suicide pact with our enemies. No matter what you think is going to happen, vote anyway. This is no time for sitting at home in the name of protest.

For the record, then, I should tell you what’s going to happen Tuesday, having read only a single opinion poll in my entire life, and yet somehow being more accurate than most polls ever are: Sadly enough, Democrats will win the House of Representatives, but will do so by gaining far fewer seats than history suggests an opposition party should win in the sixth year of a presidency. They will win 20 seats at an absolute maximum, far from the 30 or more they’re hoping for. Chris Chocola, of my hometown district (Indiana’s second), will be utterly smoked. I anticipate a double digit loss.

In regards to the Senate, Republicans will lose three seats and retain control of the more important Chamber. Harold Ford. Jr. (D) will lose in Tennessee, Rick Santorum (R) will lose in Pennsylvania, Joe Lieberman (I, of a sort) will win in Connecticut by double digits.

I wish I’d have written a column saying so, but about two months ago I told an acquaintance that if we ever see film of Saddam Hussein’s corpse dangling by its feet (cf. Mussolini at the end), then we – the United States – have wasted absolutely nothing by storming into Iraq. The lives and money spent, the WMD mistake, the uncertainty, the continued attacks in Baghdad (and virtually nowhere else in Iraq, in case you haven’t noticed), the bitching and moaning in hopes of political gain, the rank un-Americanism, insulting the troops’ intelligence (by which I indict most liberals generally, and Senator Kerry specifically): It all becomes for the greatest possible moral purpose at the exact moment Hussein’s last heartbeat works its way through his filthy heathen veins.

Imagine my great pleasure, then, when I saw Sunday that the dirt worshiper Hussein has been sentenced to hang. Yes, I would say there's quite a room for improvement in Baghdad. I would also say Iraq should hurry the hanging process along, and that the glorious event should be stuck on pay-per-view for $10 a shot; free for those motherless whores sitting in the seats of power in third world little shitholes called Cuba, Iran, and North Korea, just so they know that we will balk at spending tremendous sums of money removing you, but we will also take tremendous pleasure in your violent deaths.