Al Gore III / “Predator” Marathon / Arctic Monkeys / The Other, Sober Gore
1) Al Gore’s son – cleverly named Al Gore III – was arrested about 2.15am Wednesday for, according to this news report, “driving a blue Toyota Prius at speeds over 100 mph when he was pulled over … on the San Diego freeway south of Los Angeles. Smelling marijuana, police searched the car and found less than one ounce of marijuana and prescription drugs Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall, Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jim Armormino said…. Gore, 24, was released from a men’s jail in Santa Ana after posting $20,000 bail.”
Party at Gore’s house!
2) MSNBC broadcast a marathon of the Dateline NBC “To Catch a Predator” shows Wednesday night / Thursday morning, and for those brief, shining moments, it was the greatest basic cable channel of all time.
Could there possibly be a bigger buzzkill in the long, sad history of ill-gotten boners than Chris Hansen walking out from behind a partition when you were hoping for a 13-year-old in a bikini (or the like)? There is a sadness in knowing that teens are being taken advantage of by men of this sort, but that is eventually topped by the sheer hilarity of these tweaks as they’re not only drawn and quartered by Hansen and the transcripts of their own conversations, but then arrested in the aftermath. One hopes that not long after being handed a prolonged prison sentence, they’ll not only have tits inked onto their backs, but will then be subjected to various incidents of anal rape throughout their stay.
Wanting to fuck a 13-year-old is a compulsion I’ll never come close to understanding, for the widest variety of possible reasons. And not to put too fine a point on it, but 18 is still pretty goddamn young. Heading in that direction (18) won’t make you any more of a man, but it will at least make you legal, and will keep you from having to post a $30,000 bail, explain your various perversions to your wife / kids / parents et cetera, suffer the aforementioned tit tattoos on your back and prison rapes, ad infinitum.
I’m not even going to pretend I don’t prefer, and at times am distracted by, younger females; mainly redheads and freaks. But fuck all if any of the females that turn my head are only a few scant evolutionary steps away from being, basically, toddlers. The lone guarantee I’ll make to anyone who cares to listen is that if I’m ever going to be arrested for something, it sure as hell won’t be for scamming on teenage girls. I prefer to conduct my affairs with those comfortably within legal drinking age.
3) Looking for a reason to love the band Arctic Monkeys? It’s become the first to note, in a roundabout way, the obvious hypocrisy in bands boarding private jets and moving numerous collections of stage equipment to locals all over the world, including the “We Heart Earth” concerts this weekend, and then screaming on behalf of the poor planet we commoners are poisoning. This is not to forget the electricity necessary to power their instruments and microphones, or the electricity needed to power the lights under which the bands will be performing, et cetera.
Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to get started on that war against good intentions. The problem with World Savers is that they’re so consumed with saving the world, they often lack the wisdom, willingness and foresight to effectively manage the lives they’ve somehow managed to create for themselves. Thinking here of Al Gore III, for just one example – something tells me that had his mother been less concerned with censoring music, and his father less obsessed with casting a taller shadow than that cast by the first Senator Gore, maybe they would have had more time to dedicate to their dopey son (who, by the way, did not suffer his first drug arrest this last Wednesday morning).
But someone has to save the world, don’t they? Not necessarily. Firstly, there is no saving the world when so much of the rest of the world can neither be threatened nor cajoled into caring as much as you do (speaking mainly of places like China, in regards to harmful emissions the filthiest country on the planet, or India, which will soon enough trump even the United States in oil consumption, but which doesn’t give the matter so much as a first thought). Better for Americans to turn their attentions to saving the United States and hoping the feeling spreads.
At as far as the United States is concerned, if people took it upon themselves to (first) tend logically and faithfully to their own conditions – and then closely lending the same care to their families / loved ones – we could, in no small measure, work ourselves out. Sure it sounds simplistic and naïve, but no more naïve than believing global warming (such as it is) can be set right by the “awareness” spawned by twenty-four hours worth of concerts brought to you in some of the most energy wasting circumstances imaginable.
Now in regards to getting out from under the third world shitholes that sell us the oil we feel compelled to use, I’m open to all variety of thoughtful ideas, provided of course they’re thoughtful ideas and not preached by someone who flew across country in a Gulfstream in order to get me the message.
I guess what I’m saying is: Arctic Monkeys is right, and enjoy the music this weekend, but always remember that saving the world begins on much smaller scales, such as those at home.
Party at Gore’s house!
2) MSNBC broadcast a marathon of the Dateline NBC “To Catch a Predator” shows Wednesday night / Thursday morning, and for those brief, shining moments, it was the greatest basic cable channel of all time.
Could there possibly be a bigger buzzkill in the long, sad history of ill-gotten boners than Chris Hansen walking out from behind a partition when you were hoping for a 13-year-old in a bikini (or the like)? There is a sadness in knowing that teens are being taken advantage of by men of this sort, but that is eventually topped by the sheer hilarity of these tweaks as they’re not only drawn and quartered by Hansen and the transcripts of their own conversations, but then arrested in the aftermath. One hopes that not long after being handed a prolonged prison sentence, they’ll not only have tits inked onto their backs, but will then be subjected to various incidents of anal rape throughout their stay.
Wanting to fuck a 13-year-old is a compulsion I’ll never come close to understanding, for the widest variety of possible reasons. And not to put too fine a point on it, but 18 is still pretty goddamn young. Heading in that direction (18) won’t make you any more of a man, but it will at least make you legal, and will keep you from having to post a $30,000 bail, explain your various perversions to your wife / kids / parents et cetera, suffer the aforementioned tit tattoos on your back and prison rapes, ad infinitum.
I’m not even going to pretend I don’t prefer, and at times am distracted by, younger females; mainly redheads and freaks. But fuck all if any of the females that turn my head are only a few scant evolutionary steps away from being, basically, toddlers. The lone guarantee I’ll make to anyone who cares to listen is that if I’m ever going to be arrested for something, it sure as hell won’t be for scamming on teenage girls. I prefer to conduct my affairs with those comfortably within legal drinking age.
3) Looking for a reason to love the band Arctic Monkeys? It’s become the first to note, in a roundabout way, the obvious hypocrisy in bands boarding private jets and moving numerous collections of stage equipment to locals all over the world, including the “We Heart Earth” concerts this weekend, and then screaming on behalf of the poor planet we commoners are poisoning. This is not to forget the electricity necessary to power their instruments and microphones, or the electricity needed to power the lights under which the bands will be performing, et cetera.
Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to get started on that war against good intentions. The problem with World Savers is that they’re so consumed with saving the world, they often lack the wisdom, willingness and foresight to effectively manage the lives they’ve somehow managed to create for themselves. Thinking here of Al Gore III, for just one example – something tells me that had his mother been less concerned with censoring music, and his father less obsessed with casting a taller shadow than that cast by the first Senator Gore, maybe they would have had more time to dedicate to their dopey son (who, by the way, did not suffer his first drug arrest this last Wednesday morning).
But someone has to save the world, don’t they? Not necessarily. Firstly, there is no saving the world when so much of the rest of the world can neither be threatened nor cajoled into caring as much as you do (speaking mainly of places like China, in regards to harmful emissions the filthiest country on the planet, or India, which will soon enough trump even the United States in oil consumption, but which doesn’t give the matter so much as a first thought). Better for Americans to turn their attentions to saving the United States and hoping the feeling spreads.
At as far as the United States is concerned, if people took it upon themselves to (first) tend logically and faithfully to their own conditions – and then closely lending the same care to their families / loved ones – we could, in no small measure, work ourselves out. Sure it sounds simplistic and naïve, but no more naïve than believing global warming (such as it is) can be set right by the “awareness” spawned by twenty-four hours worth of concerts brought to you in some of the most energy wasting circumstances imaginable.
Now in regards to getting out from under the third world shitholes that sell us the oil we feel compelled to use, I’m open to all variety of thoughtful ideas, provided of course they’re thoughtful ideas and not preached by someone who flew across country in a Gulfstream in order to get me the message.
I guess what I’m saying is: Arctic Monkeys is right, and enjoy the music this weekend, but always remember that saving the world begins on much smaller scales, such as those at home.
4) By the way: Before his son was pinched, Al Gore had cancelled a long series of “Ain’t I wonderful?” appearances over the remainder of the summer. He could be thinking the time might be better spent on the campaign trail. If Gore is going to announce anything close to a presidential bid, it could not be done in front of a bigger throng of admirers than at one of these “We Heart Earth” concerts; say, on Saturday. Just getting it out there.
posted by Brian S. Wise | 7:38 AM
<< Home