Column: "White Guilt and CYA in Eugene, Oregon"

For Friday, 04 April 2008 - 606 words.

Of the nearly 154,000 people who live in Eugene, Oregon, only two percent are black. (Scatter that sort of ethnic disparity through Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills and some people will call it isolationist and racist, but never mind.) But Eugene wouldn’t want to give the impression its White Guilt isn’t as palpable as the next decently sized liberal town. So in advance of the track and field championships being held their in July, for which as many as sixty percent of the athletes and coaches will be black, Eugene ’08 (the organizational wing of the events) decided to educate Whitey on the subtle intricacies of dealing with black people by putting its two thousand volunteers through diversity training.

The first volunteer newsletter says that Eugene ’08 “will provide mandatory orientation and training sessions to ensure that you are equipped with any information that is relevant to your position and the event.” That was in January; only recently was it announced that diversity training is part of the orientation. What exactly does Eugene ’08 think is going to happen without the training, that its staff of mostly white volunteers is going to cast glances at blacks and out of sudden panic break into choruses of “Mammy”?

Probably not; but that doesn’t mean white volunteers should – and these are not exaggerations for dramatic effect – start using black slang in attempts to relate to blacks, or not be able to answer questions such as, “If I’m black, where do I get my hair done?” If you really want to know what liberals think of black people, notice how they talk about them when they think no one else is paying attention: “If I’m black, where do I get my hair done?” is a question that itself smacks of a generic bigotry – you’re just assuming that blacks are going to hit the city limits and make getting their hair done a top priority. Based upon what, exactly?

In creating the illusion of widespread opposition to the plan, local CBS affiliate KVAL cited only a dumb sounding email (meant to suggest general ignorance among the resistance, you see), spending the remainder quoting people who think this is just a swell idea. Chamber of Commerce President Dave Hauser: "I think as a community we've adopted the attitude that there's no way to over prepare for the Olympic Trials.” Then you’d better get to constructing and staffing some black barbershops, Hauser, because only about 3,100 blacks live in Eugene now – whatever facilities exist for that purpose today aren’t going to get it done come July.

Now to be fair, the KVAL article mentions that “If I’m handicapped, where can I park closest to the field?” might also be asked, but you’d be hard pressed to explain how answering that question will be any more complicated than saying, “Just follow the signs to your left, sir.” Handicapped parking is at least relevant to the volunteer’s “position and the event” … giving a black patron directions to a barbershop is not only outside that purview, but it’s also somewhat remarkable in how it insults and panders.

As with most racial head scratchers, there is a large amount of CYA in all this – Eugene knows it will take only one horribly dissatisfied black patron to make life miserable for the city. Let one volunteer be a little too dismissive to the wrong question and the next thing you know, Al Sharpton and a throng of news cameras will be crowding the steps outside City Hall. Fair enough. But why sell it as “there’s no way to over prepare” when you’re only trying to avoid headaches?